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English DemoThis is English Demo. | ||
| European Commission | ||
The European Commission has just announced an aggreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of her negotiations, Her Majestys Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'Euro English'. In the first year 'S' will replace the soft 'C'. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will be replaced with the 'K'. This should klear up Konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'PH' will be replaced with 'F'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Government will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterant to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the language is disgrasful, and they should go away. By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'TH' with 'Z' and 'W' with 'V'. During ze fifz yar, ze uneseary 'O' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'OU' and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yar, ve vi hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikutlis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
| Harvard Graduates | ||
Two young men who had just graduated from Harvard were excited and talkative about their future plans as they got into a taxi in downtown Boston. After hearing them for a couple of minutes the cab driver asked, "You men Harvard graduates?" "Yes Sir! Class of '99!" they answered proudly. The cab driver extended his hand back to shake their hand, saying, "Class of '58."
| I'm the boss | ||
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
| Childrens Eyes | ||
What kind of world is it my friend that little children see? I wonder if they see God first because they just believe? Do they see strength in caring eyes who watch them as they play - or maybe love through gentle hands that guide them on their way? Do you think they dream of future times when they would be a king - or just enjoy their present life while with their friends they sing? Do they see the acts of kindness done for people who are poor? Is the very best in everyone what they are looking for? And when the day is over, as they close their eyes to sleep, do they look forward to tomorrow with its promises to keep? If this is what the children see, then it should be no surprise, the world would be a better place if we all had children's eyes. by Tom Krause
| What makes a man? | ||
What makes a man? ---Hamlin Garland Do you fear the force of the wind The slash of the rain? Go face them and fight them, Be savage again . Go hungry and cold like the wolf Go wade like the crane. The palms of your hands will thicken, The skin of your cheeks will tan You’ll grow ragged and weary and swarthy, But you will walk like a man!
